By Keesa Ocampo
Dan and Nancy Harrington of Walnut Creek, with Concord’s first Afghan refugee family, Sayed, Zarifa, Kowsar, Zainab and Tajalla Hofioni. Photo by Keesa Ocampo
Sayed Hofioni just led his family through the most horrific journey from Afghanistan. As with all great stories, his is one marked by survival, determination, and love.
Sayed’s was a childhood of beatings, fear, and of witnessing murder. A period of his life, forever etched in his memory is one of people being thrown into mass graves, still half alive. “They beat us repeatedly to near death. They used big diggers and just threw hundreds of people in there,” he recalled, tears welling in his eyes. He only knows of one friend who stood over 2 meters tall, who somehow survived being cast into a grave.
As circumstances would have it, he found himself in the United States in 1994, managing a property, moving from Las Vegas to North Carolina. In 2010, he returned to Afghanistan and worked at a nonprofit advocating against acts of gender violence. Soon after, his family found him a lovely woman to marry. “Back home, that’s how it was. Your families bring you together. We were engaged for a month and a half. Our wedding was a blessing I will never forget,” he recalls. “The country was turbulent but I remember we drove down a very peaceful road - ten to fifteen cars with our family. For four nights, we just celebrated.” His bride, Zarifa is from the city of Mazar-i-Sharif, a city whose name means "tomb of the saint," a reference to the tomb of Hazrat Ali ibn Abi Talib, cousin, son-in-law and companion of the Islamic prophet Muhammad. The city was once also home to Alexander the Great.
Zarifa and her three children, Kowsar (5), Zainab (3), and Tajalla (6 weeks) with Ariel Neidermeier of WeSparq. Photo by Keesa Ocampo
Sayed and Zarifa had two girls, Kowsar, whose name means a river in heaven and Zainab, named after a feminist woman leader, just a year and a half apart. And while their family grew, the country began to shift quickly, bringing Sayed to think, “If there is no future there for me as a man, what would there be for my daughters?”
Sayed recounted information on the natural wealth of his home country in copper, uranium, gold, lapis lazuli, and talcum powder that is almost exclusively found in Afghanistan. Even beyond the natural riches of his country, he recounted the educational wealth of his people, naming countless relatives - many of them female - who have graduated with advanced degrees. “We have suffered because of politics and greed. And after 42 years of war, our people are just trying to survive,” Sayed shares. “The goal in Afghanistan is to stay alive, eat, and don’t get killed.”
Ten days after delivering their third child by cesarean section, that goal meant taking one of the biggest risks of their lives. The Hofioni family made the trek to the airport in Kabul and waited four days and three nights for room on a US military plane. “Before going in, I bought ten loaves of bread so my family wouldn’t starve to death while waiting amongst six or seven thousand people,” he recounts. “At the airport, members of the Taliban screamed from the deepest part of their bodies, ‘Show me your passport!’ while pointing AK-47s and RPGs at me and my children.” They stood against a wall as members of the Taliban walked up and down, pointing guns, occasionally shooting people and beating them. He told his girls to “go to sleep” and promised that he would “wake them when it was time to go.”
The flight out of Kabul. After four days, Sayed and his family landed a spot on a US Military plane that took them to Doha. Photo courtesy of Sayed Hofioni
In the meantime, the stampedes were a real threat. A single door held off a determined crowd of up to seven thousand. Survival was not a guarantee. At one point, his girls witnessed a stray bullet hit a family just a few feet in front of them. After witnessing beatings and people getting killed, he thought that if they were going to die waiting, they might as well go back. But on that fourth night, Sayed received a message to come to a door at an appointed hour, and got access to a spot on the military plane, with 6-700 others. There were no chairs, seatbelts, or food.
“After a while, your body gets numb and your mind freezes. You think you are worthless and that there are no good people in the world; that life is just about torture and people taking your rights away,” Sayed says. He tells stories of some people who died from hiding in propellers and running after planes and says, “It was not out of stupidity. They knew there was a risk but people are so desperate to leave.” For a little over three hours, they traveled to Doha. His two older girls sat on his lap, and his wife held their newborn in her arms.
The wait in camps in Doha was almost unbearable. The heat was overwhelming and Zarifa developed a pain in her abdomen. After four days, they were on a military flight to Italy where she received antibiotics for an infection. But the journey was far from over. From Italy, they journeyed on to Philadelphia and then Concord, California.
The Hofioni family arrives in Philadelphia after witnessing people being killed and beaten as they fled Kabul, and after days at military camps. The family of 5 was amongst several thousands of people pushing through one door for a way out of Kabul. Photo courtesy of Sayed Hofioni
Zarifa is still in need of medical care and her husband shares that, “She is still traumatized in her dreams. I want a house for her, for her to learn more at a school. And I will not tell her about her family.” Zarifa’s mother traveled 400 kilometers from Mazar-i-Sharif to Kabul to say goodbye - a painful missed connection. And because of what they’ve seen, Sayed says, “We don’t believe the Taliban’s new promises.”
Nancy Harrington and her husband Dan visited the Noor Islamic and Cultural Community Center in Concord where she laid eyes on a woman holding a newborn child. “I went up to her and gave her a hug. I was told that they were the first refugee family here and I said - sign us up to be their partner family,” Nancy said. That happened on September 19th.
“Families like Sayed’s need reliable transportation for appointments, school drop offs and English tutoring lessons. They need culturally appropriate food and meals. Laundry service is important,” Nancy shares. And while these have an immediacy, the priority is that, “The children need to be given happy experiences like going to playgrounds, being around people who are looking after their safety and well-being. Most importantly, we must all realize their need for compassionate care, understanding the trauma that refugees of all ages have suffered. Helping them through this process is what Americans do best and we need to do our part.”
Since then, the Harringtons have taken them on daily trips to different parks and have the girls riding bicycles. Daily, they come to swim, do laundry, and read. Zarifa has found a comfortable refuge in the kitchen, making traditional Afghan meals.
Zarifa Hofioni prepares an Afghan meal of braised meatballs, spiced chicken cooked in tomato, and stewed okra and tomatoes, served with Afghan bread. Photo by Keesa Ocampo
Sayed shares that Zarifa is taking it one day at a time but it has been difficult for her. The pain from her surgery still persists and as they try to find her medical help, they’re also navigating the system for legal, social work, housing, immigration, job search, and other aid. And yet in the face of all this, he says, “I tell my family that our job is to be good humans and to love every living thing. We are blessed to be here.”
A known staunch advocate in the nonprofit community, Nancy says, “I push them to become their own strongest advocates. Sayed has incredible follow through.” Nancy has sought the help of local donors and the office of Congressman Mark DeSaulnier to expedite processes and understand what needs to get done. In the meantime, Sayed says that what they need most is housing and a car. “Kowsar starts kindergarten tomorrow and we would like to be able to bring her to school. I would like to look for work. And if we can have a place of our own, Zarifa can settle in. She wants to take classes and learn more things, as well as English.”
At 3 and 5, his older girls have shown as much resilience as is humanly possible for a horrific couple of weeks – witnessing beatings and murder by AK-47s. They love to color, read books and learn English from cartoons. Kowsar shows off her growing skill at writing the alphabet. But occasionally, they ask their father if the Taliban is outside, and whether they will kill more people. Sayed reassures them, “There are no more Taliban here, baby. Your life will be good here.”
Our partner agency, WeSparq, has launched a GoFundMe campaign to support the Hofioni family. Specifically, these funds will go towards the purchase of a second-hand car and a clothing and diaper fund. Any excess funding will go towards the humanitarian work of the Noor Islamic and Cultural Community Center in Contra Costa and Books for the Barrios. Visit www.tinyURL.com/HofioniFamilyFund to contribute and learn more.
Keesa Ocampo is an Emmy-award winning television writer, producer and director. CEO and founder of her brand and creative agency, WeSparq, she serves as chief creative consultant to Seismic Sisters.
Reference to the GoFundMe link (the “Link”) is not an endorsement of the Link by Seismic Sisters. Each reader should make their own decision as to whether to contribute.